end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize