I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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