he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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