so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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