Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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