my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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