I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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