Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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