If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
