dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You need a sexual gate keeper
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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