shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
