is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize