So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
