how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
