sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
