rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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