Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
