Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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