yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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