plz talk dirty to me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
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