look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
there is glitter all over my balls
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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