party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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