So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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