I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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