she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
