My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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