You don't have asthma, your pregnant
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
