i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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