Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize