It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize