I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
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