When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
