Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
