NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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