I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
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You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
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Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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