i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
