Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
