she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize