I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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