so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I DEMAND FORESKIN
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
