trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
