I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
do herpes really smell.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
