Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
