So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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