if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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