I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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