The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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