Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
