so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
