Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
This house was built for laser tag.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
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i don't want you to think of me as your TA
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
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also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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