My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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