Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
the day after is always just damage control
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
