Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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