I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
