I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wish I only lived at night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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