i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
