I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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