dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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