I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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