I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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