I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
