May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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