do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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