Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
