Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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