I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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