Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
