What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
