He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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