either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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