This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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