i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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