Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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