Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize