Umm I'm too high to move.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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